On the cusp of Valentine's Day... Another Hallmark-manufactured quasi-holiday filled with stress over the right gift/dinner/words to say with/to your special one. Or, worse yet, a day replete with a growing sense of gloom because you have yet to acquire the Oprah-inspired dreams of a soul mate. Or, maybe a day that left you counting flimsy pieces of construction paper to measure your popularity or lack thereof. Janice Ian's song, "At Seventeen," captures some of that angst.

Then again, geez, it's just a day. Perhaps we should get over it already? If we're still that fragile in our middle years, we likely should be talking to a counselor a bit more often, don't you think? On the other hand, the lessons you learn as a kid run pretty deep. And I know plenty of people who listened to that Janis Ian song and wept deep, bitter tears. Even still, why do I need a special day to remind me that I love my significant other? Shouldn't I celebrate that everyday? OK, maybe not during the ballgame, but you get the idea.

A friend of mine recently asked me how you know when you've found the right one. Are there violins? Do the musicians get union scale? Is it too late to take up the violin? Sorry. I digress. Is it the giddy warmth of youthful passion? Is it the steady strength of familiarity and support in shared goals? Or maybe the old couple walking hand in hand on a beautiful almost winter day pleased to have reached a place of comfort and peace? Some combination of all of these perhaps?

Shel Silverstein (www.shelsilverstein.com)

For me, love was defined by Shel Silverstein's Missing Piece. Love is knowing what is missing and finding what fits, a complement to your being that allows you to feel more complete. The circle in the book rolls along through life trying other pieces to fit its missing wedge. Each piece tried is a love affair of its own with the joy, learning, and pain associated with it. In the end though, the circle can only roll on continuing its search.

After explaining all of that, I told my friend that love is really nothing more than a leap of faith. Love is knowing all the things that could go wrong and loving anyway. Love is knowing the pain of disappointment and betrayal and knowing its better to try. Love is a leap when you know the space between the rocks is too large. But love is believing that someone will be there to pick you up if you fall.

So Happy Valentine's Day to all of you! May your leaps make you feel as if you can fly. May your landings be firm. May the other side always be worth the leap.

Note: There's about a million songs you could pick for this one, but I had a recent James Taylor song in mind first. For a more light-hearted song, try Saint Valentine by Joe Ely. Or, to break your heart, try Richard Thompson's Waltzing's for Dreamers...